Amanuensis challenge
Jul. 20th, 2006 08:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
petroniaChallenge here. Started this but petered off after a while as the Heavenly Dragon Kings have repeatedly soaked me in thunderstorms as punishment for my talentless bastardization of Li Qingzhao the topic is depressing. Posting after all as ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
canis_m might like to see it. ^^;
The appropriate thing to say in Chinese when about to give a recital of some kind is 献丑了 which translates to "I am about to exhibit my suckitude in public".
***
I have put aside
the pearls you gifted me.
Henceforth I will be adorned
in dew
and the bitter taste of tears.
***
A call at dawn: the last courier
passes, low on the horizon, winging
her way to the capital.
Her jade wings carried no word from you.
For my sorrow I tolerate no messenger--
only the wild geese,
such is our long acquaintance.
***
My hatred will not drown itself in wine.
The seven seas are not sufficient to quench its fire;
their waters cannot match it for bitterness.
***
The chrysanthemums are flayed of beauty
and clutter the ground.
The damage is done:
who would gather them now?
I wait alone by the window,
and the night is long in coming.
A fine rain patters on the plantains,
diminishing by evening--
drop by drop,
leaf to leaf.
The gauze of my veil is drenched.
How is it that one word - sorrow - encompasses all this.
***
Would I were a handmaiden
of the Lords of the Four Skies!
I would shed this mourning robe of scales
and coil myself, mortal,
in your bed of earth.
I extend my claws but cannot reach you.
You are gone from me, though I have searched
to the furthest expanses of the Western sky.
***
...You know, I just realised that for this to make any sense the "translation" should be in French. orz
canis_m might like to see it. ^^;The appropriate thing to say in Chinese when about to give a recital of some kind is 献丑了 which translates to "I am about to exhibit my suckitude in public".
***
I have put aside
the pearls you gifted me.
Henceforth I will be adorned
in dew
and the bitter taste of tears.
***
A call at dawn: the last courier
passes, low on the horizon, winging
her way to the capital.
Her jade wings carried no word from you.
For my sorrow I tolerate no messenger--
only the wild geese,
such is our long acquaintance.
***
My hatred will not drown itself in wine.
The seven seas are not sufficient to quench its fire;
their waters cannot match it for bitterness.
***
The chrysanthemums are flayed of beauty
and clutter the ground.
The damage is done:
who would gather them now?
I wait alone by the window,
and the night is long in coming.
A fine rain patters on the plantains,
diminishing by evening--
drop by drop,
leaf to leaf.
The gauze of my veil is drenched.
How is it that one word - sorrow - encompasses all this.
***
Would I were a handmaiden
of the Lords of the Four Skies!
I would shed this mourning robe of scales
and coil myself, mortal,
in your bed of earth.
I extend my claws but cannot reach you.
You are gone from me, though I have searched
to the furthest expanses of the Western sky.
***
...You know, I just realised that for this to make any sense the "translation" should be in French. orz
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-07-20 08:31 pm (UTC)Bitter tears is right. I love the way the poems oscillate between sadness and anger. Also, WOW. Why don't you like these, again?
P.S. you can always blame the translation
Date: 2006-07-20 08:45 pm (UTC)I have done my best to approximate the impact and emotion Lien's poetry must have had in the Chinese, but between the impossibilty of expressing adequately its highly formal and complex structure and the errors of phrasing which inevitably result when one is working from the translation of a translation, I fear that my effort are, at best, satisfactory.
-P.L."
Re: P.S. you can always blame the translation
Date: 2006-07-20 08:52 pm (UTC)I always get like this when asked to write Fake Chinese Poetry(tm) because I can only judge them against the unrealised "originals" I'm not l33t enough to compose.
Re: P.S. you can always blame the translation
Date: 2006-07-20 08:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-20 08:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-20 08:49 pm (UTC)Enough with the ritual self-deprecation already
Date: 2006-07-20 10:40 pm (UTC)If you had done them in French I could not read them and would be bereft!
Re: Enough with the ritual self-deprecation already
Date: 2006-07-21 04:37 am (UTC)I have been doing the self-deprecation thing quite a bit lately, haven't I. Not sure why, it didn't use to be this severe. ^^;
Re: Enough with the ritual self-deprecation already
Date: 2006-07-21 02:34 pm (UTC)I was going to say I like the first poem best, but that is a lie, I like them all best.
You should post them to the Temeraire fan community ahahano subject
Date: 2006-07-21 10:07 am (UTC)(what a lovely idea for a challenge! And bravo for pulling it off so niftily - I wouldn't have the confidence or skill to even try, much less to come up with something so fitting.)
late response
Date: 2006-07-29 04:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-29 02:48 am (UTC)How is it that one word - sorrow - encompasses all this.
indeed.
no subject
Date: 2006-07-29 04:34 pm (UTC)