Petronia

 I was looking at Alan's 2019 photos earlier today, and what can I say? He used to be fatter and shorter. XDD Now his pants sometimes fall down ("uh-oh"), or ride up and show a gap between ankle and sock (also an "uh-oh" - fastidious about his menswear fit). I've been burnt out on "extra tasks" like, er, this baby diary, or measuring Alan's height, but my mom claims he's over 90cm. 

Speech therapy has been frankly desultory: my work schedule, plus C changed jobs, plus the lockdown. Alan will start with someone new after January 11, since he's still lagging on milestones like putting two words or even (mostly) two syllables together. He says "mi" for milk, or mix (verb), or cement mixer, or - I think - missing (piece). But he loves numbers and letters, almost as much as vehicles, can count 1 through 10 and recite the alphabet. From memory! He lies in bed and counts, not sheep, just says the numbers. XD; Actually, what is more impressive to me is that he's able to recognize broken-up letter pieces in the big alphabet floor puzzle his grandparents bought him, well enough to put the puzzle back together with gentle guidance. I got him a box of smaller, vehicle-shaped puzzles for Christmas, which were a big hit, as well as a wooden toolbox. There is no conceptual breakthrough yet with regard to nuts and bolts, which is just as well because I rely on him not being able to screw/unscrew caps ahahahah, but he learnt to hammer in the wooden nails and use the peen part of the hammer to pull them out, and that is very entertaining.

The third most entertaining gift was the child-sized snow shovel S's parents gave him. XDD Now that he's steady on his feet and has proper snow pants, it really brightens his day to go outside for sanctioned rough-and-tumble, i.e. throw snowballs at me for an hour. Like a good little Canadian, I am teaching him the varying qualities of snow - what is good for snowballs and snowmen and what is easy to shovel, versus not. The renovated playground down the street reopened earlier in the month, right on schedule, and it's been a hugely popular hangout since; the city did a baller job. It's nice to just be able to encounter A and her parents outside, or other families I have a nodding acquaintance with.

At this point, there is information on the Web that describes Alan to a tee, as well as myself. Eg. shows no sign of toilet training (FML), likes to line and stack toys, but cheerful and adaptable and socially normal apart from slight aloofness with other kids. But it is one thing to have diagnostic labels available; it is not the same as ways of being. I'd be in the "hyperlexia I" aka "normal" bucket but my subjective sense of self is non-neurotypical. I'm rather a big pile of autistic-"like" traits, dialled down enough to be mild hindrances to me and mildly perceptible to others: a finely tuned, high-performing engine with knowable, even loveable quirks, like a motorsports car from pre-platform days. Since the point of an autism diagnosis for the most part is to set the stage for support or intervention and/or insurance payouts, if you don't need any you won't - shouldn't, really - meet the cutoff, per design. But I suspect that what makes Alan tilt to "hyperlexia III" versus me is merely ("merely") biological sex, and that I and III differ from II mostly on on the point of maladaptiveness. To which point, if Alan didn't have a mild speech delay none of this would even be notable. I didn't have a kid with the expectation that he would hew to the mean. XD;;;

The terrible-twos "no," by the way, is not in the least delayed. Alan used to shake his head, which worked, but over the course of a few weeks in December he picked up, serially, three separate usages of "no": the discerning "no" of intentionally matching puzzle pieces to the wrong holes ("no! nno! nnno! yeeees!"), the dramatic-regrets "no" ("ohhh, noooo!"), and finally, the do-not-want "no" ("noooooooooooooooooo" *lies flat on ground*). My first week off after Christmas he threw two real tantrums, on stereotypical toddler points of contention that it was hard not to simply laugh at, such as wanting to eat ice cream after his teeth were brushed, following the model (but not moral) of The Very Hungry Caterpillar. It physically distressed him to be so angry, though, and ultimately he needed me to calm him down more than he needed to pursue the argument. Since then I've mostly been able to redirect him, or work something out. 

 It's been nearly a month since I've posted! Alan's only gone to two speech therapy appointments in the interim, because I had a COVID scare (he went to my parents for the weekend because I was fall cleaning, and ended up staying with them for a week). Incidentally, he ate a big lunch before the first one then got carsick and threw up on the way. So we were half an hour late and used a whole Bounty roll and wet wipes pack trying to get presentable, and he wore my jacket to meet the therapist. =_= My parents had to hose down the car seat afterward.

Alan's speech therapist is a young man, C. They play with cars and blocks and bubble blowers and such, and meanwhile C prompts Alan to say words, use the baby sign for "more," and to make eye contact by withholding toys. Alan enjoys himself but seems to find it exhausting, and after 45 minutes or so attempts to take his leave (says "out", fiddles with door knob, brings me my purse). He's continued to use the "more" sign, though, usually when prompted, or in situations where he's been prompted before - like getting a bottle in the middle of the night, or... with C. :P Meanwhile, he has become a bit more vocal and "talks" to himself while playing, even though I mostly don't understand what he says other than "uh oh" and "vroom vroom". But he has enough words now that there is communication happening, eg. "hot," "out," "go," "on."

He also learnt a few numbers and letters, like 10 - can recognize "10" on a block and say "ten" unprompted. I think he remembers 8, 9, 10 better than 1, 2, 3 - maybe because they come at the end of the count?

Other new things this month: raging vehicle maniac mode. Will watch 10-minute videos on, say, how the hydraulic piston system is installed in an excavator (this sort of thing evidently has quite a viewership base among the preschool set). I got him "Good Night, Good Night, Construction Site" and a 100 trucks picture book. Took the side off the crib, which Alan wasn't using at all, so now he will at least nap in it during the afternoon. While at his grandparents Alan learnt how to walk (not crawl) up and down the stairs by himself, holding onto the railing. He's started experimenting with sliding down the playground slide on his bum (previously only tummy, but it rucks up his shirt and now the plastic is cold, I guess). Good at catching a large ball at short distances, can also kick one around. Climbs more: I have my coffee pods on a shelf and he now steps up onto the shoe rack in order to get them in the morning, to "help" me make coffee. I'm not very worried about him climbing, because he's not a daredevil, and he's still a tall kid with not a lot of core strength. XD; Having experimented at the playground, I know he can't get high enough by himself to be a problem.

I got him a very cute yellow push bike, but his legs are too long to sit well and he completely rejected it. He was considerably more interested when it was disassembled, immediately figured out how the IKEA-style wrench worked, etc. Had a lot of fun the other day playing with yo-yo string and threading it through his other toys. Think I'll order some arts and crafts stuff, as we'll be stuck inside more.

Appetite is recently good, after having been poor for a lot of the summer. Eats apples and cherry tomatoes happily, will accept scrambled eggs if made to a hotel chef's standard. Still very into chasing squirrels and pigeons in the park. I've been introducing him to fall concepts, like coloured leaves and conkers (I gathered a whole bunch from a tochinoki tree in the Botanical Garden). No trick or treating, of course, and I'm sad at the missed opportunity to put Vulcan ears on him and take him to Comic-con - I suspect he'll default to it eventually anyway, given his eyebrows, but it really would have been maximal cuteness this year. 

Maybe I should switch to a biweekly schedule for good? The hiatus has been because work is stressful, though. Alan has been at his grandparents the entire week, which we agreed to because my parents' car is in the garage for repairs. But I hardly feel as if I've gotten a breather. Meanwhile, Alan is spending a lot of time outside, drawing on my parents' concrete terrace (and his own shoes) with chalk, pulling up dandelions, or chowing down on watermelon. 

Friday last week I took him to the doctor, where he had a total meltdown. It was a confluence of factors: he was bored, a couple of other moms and babies had just come into the waiting area, but all of a sudden we were called and he was wheeled into an examination room with someone he didn't recognize (masked and gowned of course) and the door was shut. That really set him off. In a way it means he has good self-preservation instincts? :P He howled and kept pointing and wanting to leave and go home, and the more we attempted to weigh and measure him the more upset he got. So in the end she couldn't check Alan's back, though his posture has improved somewhat. I was given an M-CHAT-R to fill out at home and a referral to a speech therapist. Tried contacting one who didn't call me back, got another clinic recommendation to reach out to on Monday. 

Although Alan is behind on speaking -- and has been behind from day one: he never babbled at 6 months -- he's always progressed at his own pace. I've gotten used to him mostly just humming and whining, though; he never does that thing most toddlers do, chattering volubly but incomprehensibly, so I get taken aback when he trots out a new word. Last weekend he said "down," quite clearly, to mean that he wanted to be carried down the stairs. Then I took him into the toy store on Wellington to get him sidewalk chalk and a toy bucket, and when we wheeled up to the cashier he saw the ball bin and was like "BALL! BALL!!!" I was so surprised that well, I bought him a very handsome rainbow-coloured ball. Then left before he could do more damage. But oh, he was self-satisfied!

We went to the park after that and met J (he of the water gun) and his mom and mom's friend and younger brother. Alan was very popular because he showed up with toys: they were like "Ball?" "Ball :)" at each other. Then J came up to me to ask for chalk: he *did* have his charming patter all ready, but I couldn't understand a word of it. XD

Since then my parents tell me he's also learnt to say "home," which is a concept I'm sure he understands well (I always say "we're home" when we arrive). He recognizes not only my front door, but my parents' too.

Maybe Alan just has high standards for himself, and won't say anything until he knows he can do it perfectly. :P

 It's probably safe to say that no one had COVID at A's birthday party. Meanwhile, having chosen the party over the pool that weekend, one of the lifeguards came down with it a few days afterward, so now the pool is closed for cleaning. (I feel bad for the lifeguards, who are familiar faces - the same college-age kids every year.) Alan went to his grandparents over the weekend with water wings in tow, but developed yet another 48-hour mild mystery fever. Thus far they remain unused. 

Sandlot and splash pad playdate with S. The boys remain very similar in size, and the 5-month age gap is less and less of a factor physically. Alan has surprisingly good fine motor control with pens and such and is now able to both throw and catch a ball at short distances. S is a voluble talker, though, and Alan can't even copy him, because he only speaks French. ^^; 

Very into books now. Bedtime reading now comes in stacks. Alan's comprehension is quite good: if I say "where is ____?" (the pink flower; the baby reading a book; the bottle of milk; the sky) he is now able to get almost everything in his first 100 words book, and major body parts. I'm particularly thankful that he understands and follows the instruction "be careful of your head." But this is still all pointing and humming, not talking, though he now expects and is amused by my animal sounds.

Annoying things Alan does:

• Squirts milk out of his bottle and makes a mess whenever he's done drinking, if I don't stop him
• Scribbles everywhere with marker
• Stashes objects in inaccessible spaces, like under the oven, then complains about not being able to find them anymore
• Has gone into a "refuse all fruit" phase at the exact time of year when fruit is best
• Grabs my boobs, all the time, still
• Unbelievably, chortles whenever he sees me wearing a top that shows I *have* boobs, as if this were an invitation
• Attempts at toilet training have only induced a fascination with flushing bits of paper down the toilet
• Won't sleep in his crib anymore, wakes up wailing whenever he rolls around and hits the sides at night - feels a bit like when he was 3 months old and outgrowing his bassinet

 Telehealth call with Alan's doctor (which was supposed to be an in-person appointment, but the Quebec government hasn't updated its automated reminder message that says only "the doctor will call you," so we didn't go to the CLSC). Asked about his shrimpy spine curvature, and relative lack of speaking. In the end, he's going in person in August so she can check all of that. Meanwhile, it was reiterated that babies under 2 should have no screen time, so that led to two days of sniping with my mom, who is of the generation of immigrants that is a true believer in educational television for language acquisition. =_=

It must be said that Alan's learnt a lot from the past 4 months of nursery rhyme videos, but he understands much, much more than he's willing or able to say, in both languages - and if there's a gesture that'll do the job (yes / no / bye-bye etc.) he'll go with that instead. I think he feels his tongue is clumsy, because if there was a delay it was early on: he hardly babbled until he was nearly 1. But for instance, this morning he had gone under the toddler slide in the neighbourhood park, and when I said "Alan, be careful of your head," he looked up to see where the "ceiling" was (he'd never been in that spot before). And he's now quite often able to point at the right picture in his 100 First Words book when one says, "Alan, where is the [object]?" Though he doesn't... always distinguish between the picture and the real thing? When one say, "Where are the socks?" he'll point at his (sockless) feet. And hilariously, "Where is the sleeping baby?" elicits lying down in "child's pose" and pretending to sleep.

Anyway, I think an hour of TV a day is not the end of the world, so we will probably slowly pursue our Ghibli regime. But I'm going to try to minimize the slumping-on-couch-watching-Youtube-because-grownups-have-to-work time, despite COVID. It could only improve his posture, for one thing. 

(Today he ate fresh cherry tomatoes and strawberries very well, but refused cherries.)

 Another fussy period. All of a sudden, Alan won't eat fruits and vegetables - except the puree packs and lemonade. He'll even put the berries or whatnot in his mouth himself, but chew and spit it out as if it tastes weird. So, today for breakfast he had corn puffs and applesauce. Yesterday morning, to be fair, he had a couple of bites of pan-fried halloumi, which I suppose is superior to most cheeses.

He's also had a couple of episodes of waking up from his nap in a huge temper. On Father's Day this happened while his grandparents were over and my dad didn't really take it seriously and kept laughing and getting in his face, which made him more upset, until he ended up barfing his bottle of milk all over my bed. =_= In fact there were a few barf episodes altogether. Still, on other days he naps and wakes up just fine and cheerful. He's been sleeping more during the day; waking up early and going to bed late due to the sun, and being tired out from more playing outside. There's been another heat wave, very dry this time with no rain for 10 days so all the public grass turned yellow. I've been taking Alan to the splash pad down the block nearly every day, very early before the heat becomes too crushing. He doesn't really like having water showering down on him, but he likes playing with the smaller streams, filling his cup and emptying it, or trying to drop pebbles down the drain. I keep having to stop him from putting pebbles in the grilles of parked cars.

Alan's getting reasonably tanned, as am I, studious application of sunscreen aside. Since he usually wears rubber shoes with aeration holes on the top, he has a pattern of tanned spots on the tops of his feet.

Saw the mom 'n' baby yoga group at the park near the marina, since one of the families is moving back to Calgary. May have been due to shyness, but none of the kids said much bar a couple of words, like "yes" or "nana" (E, who very much wanted my banana). My dad's been on my case about Alan not talking, but it seems to me his expectations are overblown.

Alan with his grandparents since last night, so I can deal with the AC repair that got pushed to Monday. (As I write, even chance it gets pushed to Tuesday.) We had great weather over the weekend, though, so spent a lot of time outside. With the COVID-19 reopening, the playground equipment in Verdun is now accessible, and since we were very early in the park with not a lot of others around, I gave into temptation and allowed Alan to play on the swings and the toddler slide and even the splash pad. He adored all the new games. But now there is no social distancing happening at all among the parents and young children, at least beyond what you would expect pre-COVID from strangers in public spaces. People wear masks and take care when entering stores, but I suppose they think, what's the point if the kids are back at daycare?

We also spent some quality time at Verdun Beach on Sunday morning. Again, Saturday was quite hot and the beach was packed -- I dislike packed public beaches at the best of times -- but Sunday was rather cooler/windier and there was hardly anyone at 10am. Alan dug about happily in the sand, wearing rubber boots and long sleeves and sun hat, and took wistful note of the other kids in swimsuits who were allowed to splash in the water. He is too cautious to immediately imitate even if he clearly wanted to; which is good because he will probably NEVER be allowed to go into the water at Verdun Beach, which is just the good old Saint Lawrence River and known to contain unacceptable E.coli overflow after a heavy rain.

I'll do another update on Friday, when Alan'll be 18 months old. :)

Alan is a lot of fun at this stage. He understands and responds to quite a lot - "we're going out," or "would you like some water?" for instance - though for some reason, he still doesn't have a word for milk/bottle/thirsty and just acts distressed until we guess right. He's not as cautious as he was outside and is happy to march down the sidewalk by himself and explore the neighbourhood green spaces, as long as I'm following along. (He also seems to have gotten over trying to touch every parked car.) In the park we play peekaboo by ducking around the trees, and today I took a soap bubble wand out so he could chase the bubbles.

He chases birds too, though very slowly, considered no particular threat by robins or pigeons. Also very cat: he broke a glass by climbing on the dining table and knocking it off. He hasn't tried to climb out of his crib, but then, he's never awake for any length of time in his crib. He gets deposited there after he falls asleep in my bed or on the sofa, and in the morning he hangs over the railing crying to be set free. When he's sleepy, he demands his pacifier, then demands that I accompany him to nap.

It's also fun to see what kind of principles about the world Alan's derived in his mind. Now, Instead of knocking my glasses off, whenever I set them aside, he unfolds them again and attempts to replace them on my face. He takes laundry out of the machine and surprisingly tends to guess right as to which ones need line drying and which ones go in the dryer. I'd always been afraid that if I opened a window, he would try to clamber out. It turns out that an open window is an invitation for Alan to close the window (by slamming down the sash). He's only squished his own thumb once. But how to get fresh air... at this time of year my place heats up dramatically, so we're now in high summer clothes and bare feet indoors. 

Hung out with S and his mom for a bit in the back alley on Friday morning, though trying to respect strictures. When Alan saw S getting dressed through their balcony door, he was so hyped he tried to open the door and go in. Mostly, we observed the big blue garbage truck empty the dumpsters of the old folks' home (S is in a truck phase). 

 Missed a week. Alan definitely fussier than usual, expressed mostly in capricious appetite and refusal to nap at the appointed time, and if it weren't for the timing I would have attributed it entirely to teething - top first molars nearly completely sprouted, canines coming, early-ish as were all his teeth. For a while he was napping on the sofa when he got sleepy, now he'll only go to sleep if I lie down with him.

New foods: likes okra, surprisingly. Won't eat bologna or most salty cured meats, but stole my salami this morning, as well as a chocolate chip cookie baked by my sister. Loves my mom's lemonade, which she reconstitutes from sugared lemon slices, but lemon-orangeade made from the juice seems too intense. 

Very into rules now. Always liked switches but now understands that specific light switches control specific lights. (The great puzzlers are remotes around the house that don't seem to control anything in particular.) When he needs to take his pacifier out to drink from a bottle, he always takes care to place his pacifier in the cap of his bottle. His height is measured against the wall with the help of a specific book, and sometimes he goes and gets the book out in order to be measured (and petted and made a fuss of). We moved his bedroom furniture today, and he took care to put his little table - and the objects on that table - back where he thought it ought to be. He's able to carry plastic footstools around and step up onto them, but thankfully, only at a couple of locations "designated" in his mind. 

I take Alan out on long walks over the weekend, since he doesn't spend much time outside during the work week. He tried to imitate the older boys he saw at Verdun Beach, who were able to climb the sloping lawns and stairs. Also spent a while investigating the new concept of sand, eventually throwing a handful in glee that ended up in his hair, the basket of the stroller, and his diaper. 

 Alan really started walking consistently over Easter weekend, and now can toddle around the house to his heart's desire -- still with arms raised for balance, haha. When he gets hold of something, particularly something he's not supposed to have, he carries it around above his head like a trophy, crowing. He even tries to dance, or to stamp his feet and turn around to "If You're Happy And You Know It." After a week of this, he's now able to squat down and stand up again, without having to hold onto furniture.

He also talks more. We watch the Teletubbies together, which strikes me as surreal but Alan as good comedy, and sometimes he repeats "uh-oh" or "bye bye" after the characters. At this point, every motor vehicle is a "car" (said very quietly), and every caretaker is "mama". I think I've become "mum"?

A good game this week has been dusting. Alan takes a piece of paper towel or terrycloth and wipes around with utmost seriousness. He does a good job! I don't like dusting, so this can be his chore if he wants it. :P

He's also started to resist napping: when he's sleepy he fusses, but after resting quietly for a while he forces himself to get up again and keep playing. I remember doing the same when I was little: sleep seemed extremely boring. ^^; But sometimes he will pass out on the couch before he knows it. Today he nearly nodded off in his high chair during lunch, and went to sleep as soon as I put him horizontal.

UPDATE -- I've noticed Alan thinking differently about certain topics, trying to apply principles. For instance, some of his toy plastic balls and eggs fall into halves, so today he tried to break the injection-molded balls into halves -- and when that didn't work, to get me to do it. Very frustrating when I said I couldn't! (He understands and indeed makes a hilarious exaggerated shrug, a la "guess I'll die" meme, to mean "all gone" and sometimes "can't be done".)