Why I h8 Kagetora, the MSN convo

[petronia]

I said I'd try to avoid adumbration. So this in case I'm too depressed to ever type up a proper summary. XD;;

[MSN convo between petronia and absenceofmind, lightly edited for punctuation]

Sabina: I am trying to explain to commenter on my lj
Sabina: why I posted saying I H8 KAGETORA
Sabina: and the act of explaining fills me with augh again.
Sabina: I had to stop reading tonight.
Aki: ....
Aki: WHAT DID HE DO
Aki: OMG WHAT DID HE DO TO NAOE
Aki: HE DIDN'T FIRE HIM
Aki: DID HE?
Sabina: IT'S WORSE.
Sabina: HE PUT HIM ON PROBATION.
Aki: wtf.
Aki: as in
Aki: get your powers back
Aki: and i won't dump your ass?
Sabina: YES.
Sabina: AFTER SAYING A LOT OF
Sabina: NO.
Sabina: I CAN'T DO THIS.
Sabina: It is like, you know what it is,
Sabina: it's always just a *little* bit, just that TINY little bit worse
Sabina: than the worst case scenario I imagined.
Sabina: Always.
Aki: GOD
Aki: I WANT TO KILL HIM
Aki: AND HIS SNARKY CRUEL LITTLE ASS
Sabina: SO DO I.
Sabina: NOW.
Sabina: I mean, it is like,
Sabina: WHAT
Sabina: are the last 3,092 times you broke this guy's heart not enough?
Sabina: Do we really have to aim for #3,093?
Aki: oh yes.
Aki: i mean
Aki: way to rub it in his face.
Aki: NAOE JUST QUIT
Aki: THROW IN THE TOWEL
Sabina: HE DID.
Sabina: THAT IS THE *PROBLEM.*
Sabina: Like okay, pretty much as I predicted,
Sabina: Takaya knew something was wrong with him as soon as he saw him.
Sabina: So he waited until the meeting broke up and Ayako and Chiaki had gone off to get okonomiyaki,
Sabina: and then he's like, what's wrong with you? Your spiritual level is going down.
Sabina: How long has it been like this?
Sabina: Naoe's like, I'm just tired it's not a problem ahaha.
Sabina: Takaya's like Uhuh right pull the other one.
Sabina: What's the matter, not trying to win anymore?
Sabina: Naoe's like =_=+
Sabina: You know what, maybe I'm not.
Sabina: Maybe I've just sort of given up on the whole thing, because I am a fucking idiot.
Sabina: And Takaya's like, oh really.
Sabina: Funny that.
Sabina: You give up on me, and...... your powers disappear.
Sabina: And Naoe kind of freezes because it never occurred to him that way.
Sabina: Which is fair, AS IT NEVER OCCURRED TO ME EITHER.
Aki: um
Aki: not me either
Aki: because i don't think they're causally linked like THAT
Aki: it's more like
Aki: he's so depressed that EVERYTHING's fritzed out.
Aki: GOD I HATE KAGETORA SO SO MUCH
Sabina: I'm not sure.
Sabina: Actually.
Sabina: Because later on in this conversation,
Sabina: well,
Sabina: Naoe's like okay, if hypothetically I were to say - just hypothetically -
Sabina: that I kind of lost all my powers, uh, what would happen?
Sabina: Like what would you do.
Sabina: And Takaya kind of - like you can tell that caught him off-guard.
Sabina: He's like, DID YOU?
Sabina: Naoe: ...... >_>
Sabina: So Takaya's like, Well, if you didn't recover them after a reasonable amount of time,
Sabina: I'd have to be forced to kick you off the team.
Sabina: And he's like, if you can't fight you can't help, you'd just be a drag on the others and put them in danger, blah de blah de blah.
Aki: ok.....
Aki: i mean
Aki: so far that's right.
Sabina: And
Sabina: and
Aki: AND I STILL HATE HIM.
Sabina: we'd probably have to brainwash you.
Sabina: And lock you up.
Sabina: So you won't get captured and give away our plans to the enemy.
Aki: *has an apoplexy*
Sabina: In fact, the worst case scenario is,
Sabina: I'd have to exorcise you.
Sabina: And Naoe just says, very calmly and quietly like,
Sabina: You. Would. Exorcise. Me?
Sabina: And Takaya takes a few seconds to answer this, and is like,
Sabina: ....................Well, it's the worst case scenario.
Aki: i think
Aki: that i would um.
Aki: actually
Aki: you know what?
Aki: i don't know.
Sabina: And it goes on!
Sabina: So Takaya explains.
Sabina: As if it weren't obvious.
Sabina: He's like Look, we're here to exorcise these spirits.
Sabina: That's what we do.
Sabina: That's our only excuse for hanging around earth for 400 years.
Sabina: If for some reason we *couldn't*,
Sabina: we lose our purpose.
Aki: and so i keel you.
Aki: without blinking.
Sabina: And Naoe's like, Well that's nice.
Sabina: You've only hung around 400 years because of duty? The Job? *Seriously*?
Sabina: That's really altruistic of you, you know.
Sabina: You are seriously saintly.
Sabina: Because you know what,
Sabina: that is not at all why I hung around for 400 years.
Sabina: I hung around because of *you*.
Aki: he SAID that.
Aki: he SAID THAT?
Aki: omg, and i'm going to want to kill kagetora SOME MORE
Aki: for his response.
Aki: RIGHT.
Sabina: Oh, yes.
Sabina: His response being,
Sabina: Well in which case you should be very afraid.
Sabina: Because I really don't need anyone who can't use his powers properly.
Sabina: I'd have to find someone else.
Aki: i think if i were naoe
Aki: i'd make kagetora kill me.
Aki: i'd just call his bluff.
Aki: if he did it, naoe won't be in any position to feel the heartache
Sabina: Haha.
Aki: and if he didn't
Aki: then naoe wins.
Aki: in a sense.
Sabina: *weeps into her Wendy burger*
Sabina: But you know,
Sabina: Naoe's never thought about it.
Sabina: Ever.
Aki: living is a powerful habit.
Sabina: I don't think it's every occurred to him that Kagetora could REPLACE him.
Aki: he's had 400 years to build it.
Sabina: Of course Kagetora *couldn't*, he's just saying,
Sabina: but that only makes it worse.
Aki: i don't suppose he could.
Sabina: And Naoe's just like, Okay, replace. Like. With. Whoever? Are you saying that's *okay* with you?
Sabina: For me not to be there.
Aki: ......
Aki: even to torture.
Aki: and of course
Aki: kagetora
Aki: says yes.
Aki: why would you think.
Aki: otherwise.
Sabina: Kagetora says
Sabina: (I actually feel the need to preface this with a LIES ALL DAMNED LIES disclaimer although tis really rather obvious)
Sabina: Well, it's not as if I'm *trying* to hold onto you, is it?
Sabina: I mean, *you're* the one who's in love with me,
Sabina: it's not really my problem.
Sabina: And Naoe turns deathly pale,
Sabina: and says, Well, that is true.
Aki: AND?
Aki: AND?
Sabina: It doesn't matter to you who it is, does it,
Sabina: as long as they worship at your feet.
Sabina: And then he actually um
Sabina: you remember that spiel I gave you the other day
Sabina: about how Kagetora obviously is just scared shitless that he's not loveable enough?
Sabina: Naoe tells him, you can be all perfect toward people as long as they're worshipping you from a distance.
Sabina: You're just scared of them getting close in case they see you're not perfect.
Sabina: You have no real self-esteem so you use your followers to prop you up.
Sabina: It's not about what they want, it's all about what you want.
Sabina: No matter how long you live you're just a stupid spoiled little kid.
Sabina: You don't even know *how* to love.
Sabina: You don't know how to give.
Aki: GOOD FOR YOU
Aki: GOOD FOR NAOE
Sabina: Oh, yes. XD
Sabina: But of course the argument goes rather downhill after that.
Aki: *siiiiiiiiiigh*
Sabina: Because of course Kagetora is just like,
Sabina: Are you not getting something here?
Sabina: Correct me if I'm wrong, but *you're* the one who wants to be adored and are not getting it, yes?
Sabina: Well, let me reiterate,
Sabina: not my problem.
Sabina: Naoe is just, like, shaking at this point.
Sabina: Kagetora looks at him and goes, want to kill me again?
Aki: ok kagetora is just a bloody liar.
Aki: and i really hate him.
Sabina: You can't even do it.
Sabina: Then he looks down, and up, and goes for the kill. And says,
Sabina: Sleeping around doesn't make it any better, does it?
Sabina: And I was just like, *throws book across fast food restaurant*
Aki: i would have, too.
Aki: burned it.
Aki: or something.
Aki: god
Aki: sabina
Aki: why do you do this to yourself?
Aki: you KNOW it doesn't get better.
Sabina: I AM NOT SURE.
Sabina: MAYBE I AM WAITING FOR THE PIRATES TO SHOW UP AGAIN.
Sabina: I think it's sick curiosity.
Sabina: It is the, "Okay, come on, I know that THIS time you could not possibly make it unimaginably worse."
Sabina: Death by optimism.
Sabina: I don't know if it's optimism, or just failure of imagination.
Aki: combination, but honestly?
Aki: kagetora outdoes me.
Sabina: He does.
Sabina: It is sick.
Aki: i can't think of all the ways in which he's cruel
Aki: because frankly i can't imagine them.
Aki: like, it wouldn't be IN me or most people
Aki: to say things like that.
Sabina: I know.
Sabina: It is like, the Human Decency Filter?
Sabina: Completely missing. Not installed.
Aki: i would never be able to read MoB.
Aki: never.
Aki: like, i can't READ books where people are ASSHOLES.
Sabina: *sighs*
Sabina: I question why I'm still reading this.
Sabina: Some day I'll find the answer.
Sabina: I suppose this is what addiction feels like.
Aki: ^^;;;;;;;;;;;;
Aki: i would try the usual panacea
Aki: writing you fic
Sabina: XD
Sabina: Aki.
Aki: but i think this series is beyond salvage XD

Comments

[mirichan.livejournal.com]

Wow... gonna read it now but... I think your LJ tag did not work.

[petronia.livejournal.com]

Ahaha, yes, it's fixed now. XD;;

[mirichan.livejournal.com]

Bloody hell.

I guess the author wrote way too many love stories as a kid. And she's cramming in hers all the hurt she's read in all those books...

Psst? Can I help you KICK Kagetora... My god, Takaya was such a sweet kid compared to that man. Poor Naoe... You know? I think I'm glad I can't read ONE word of Japanese...

[mirichan.livejournal.com]

I'm tired.

I meant "read too many" NOT "wrote"

[sjdr.livejournal.com]

So, is Kagetora supposed to be THE Kagetora?

Also, why is there not a manga where they gay up... um... Yoritomo and Yoritomo's brother. Whose name I am blanking on. You know who I mean.

[petronia.livejournal.com]

...Probably not. Adopted son. She took really minor members of the family for reasons I think have to do with in-jokery.

Yoshitsune? (Probably wrong, I'm really tired) There probably is. I mean. For sure.

[sjdr.livejournal.com]

Yes! That's the one. Yoshitsune.

I feel slightly better about MoB, knowing that Kagetora != Kagetora, for some reason. ... although there really ought to be a jousei manga about Hojo Masako, because. Well. Jesus.

[flemmings.livejournal.com]

It's Benkei x Yoshitsune, traditionally. 'Course that could be the Smut tradition 'and did you know that Benkei *never* slept with a woman and died a virgin???' Also the fact that when Yoshitsune fled into exile something like eight separate mistresses fled with him. Kind of crimps the gaying up possibilities.

[sjdr.livejournal.com]

Also the fact that when Yoshitsune fled into exile something like eight separate mistresses fled with him. Kind of crimps the gaying up possibilities.

Wait. Since when?

There was that one dancing-girl/chanteuse girlfriend of Yoshitsune's, who Yoritomo rather desperately wanted to fuck hear perform. Kind of telling, that.

[petronia.livejournal.com]

Not that Kagetora and Kagekatsu weren't omgwtfgay to begin with, as I discovered somewhat to my trauma. (And they've each got a Naoe too. It's like reading the geneology of the Bagginses and the Gamgees or something.)

I have read at least one manga in which Yoshitsune died early on and most of what we think of as Yoshitsune was uhhh a fox spirit pretending to be Yoshitsune. So I figure, if it can be thought of, it must've been done.

[sjdr.livejournal.com]

They were? Whoa. Things my dry, scholarly histories do not tell me.

You know, we laugh at the idea of Kitsune!Yoshitsune, but, as one of my dry scholarly histories once supposed, Yoshitsune is a lot like Richard the Lion-Hearted for Japan (shit, they were contemporaneous), and, well, have you ever SEEN the animated Disney version of Robin Hood? YOU KNOW, WITH THE FOXES AND THE SNAKES AND LIONS AND BEARS AND CRAP?

Japan isn't really as whacky as we think it is.

[petronia.livejournal.com]

Yoshitsune is a lot like Richard the Lion-Hearted for Japan (shit, they were contemporaneous)

OMG SYNCHRONICITY. (One of these days I will incur my sister's wrath by posting her Richard the Lionheart screenplay to the Intarweb. XD It's a school "integrative project", she's literally been working on it for a year. With the piles of dry scholarly histories and all.) And yes, I have seen the animated Disney Robin Hood. I have memorized the animated Disney Robin Hood, pretty much, as it was my sister's Favorite Movie Evar when she was like four.

Somehow this has become all about my sister.

I will have to make a proper post about how the Uesugi were all completely gay and completely not related to each other. And refrain from making stupid jokes re how the two facts are connected.

[sjdr.livejournal.com]

It was my favorite movie when I was like four. Sir Hiss was like the best thing EVER, and I (predictably) rooted for the villains.

IMAGINE MY TRIUMPH WHEN I ACTUALLY LEARNED SOME BRITISH HISTORY! <3 <3 <3 King John.

What this really means, of course, it that there should be some kind of freaky time-travel/historically innacurate manga wherein YOSHITSUNE AND RICHARD COEUR DE LION TEAM UP and are omgwtfgay together, because if there ever was an omgwtfgay King of England, it was Richard.

That would be the best manga ever

[petronia.livejournal.com]

From your lips to the Japanese publishing industry's ears.

Re: That would be the best manga ever

[sjdr.livejournal.com]

It should be a shounen battle manga, and people should have special attacks.

There should also be flashbacks wherein the young Henry, Geoffery, John, and Richard do a combo attack.

Re: That would be the best manga ever

[worldserpent.livejournal.com]

For some reason this has become mixed up in my mind with the Lion in Winter. Plus the Eleanor of Aquitaine, somehow. XD

Re: That would be the best manga ever

[sjdr.livejournal.com]

Considering that's what I was thinking of when I wrote it...

(Such a good movie. Such a good movie.)

Re: That would be the best manga ever

[worldserpent.livejournal.com]

I love that movie too, ever since I saw it in high school. 500X times better than the time they made us suffer through Mel Gibson's Hamlet.

[flemmings.livejournal.com]

These MSN convos do read like Archy the cockroach, don't they?

[petronia.livejournal.com]

*sporfles*

Yes. Yes, they do. It's the beauty of the form.

[insaneneko.livejournal.com]

Thanks to you, I've relived the fun that was book 10. *sigh* But it was kind of amusing reading it as a conversation...

I really hate this arc. A lot. I know everyone feels sorry for Naoe, but I wanted to kick him too (just not as much as Kagetora).

[absenceofmind.livejournal.com]

hi. um, i'm aki, the person who was rolling around dying in the conversation. *shakes your hand* just for the record, i want to kick naoe too? i mean, GROW A SPINE AND LEAVE HIM ALREADY, GIVE UP OMG YOU ARE SUCH AN ABUSED HOUSEWIFE. but that aside, would you care to like, take me aside and spoil me as thoroughly as possible? because i don't have the books and can't read japanese beyond like, beboy yomikiri level anyhow, and this is killing me because i want to know the absolute worst instead of being killed by inches? please?

*gets down on knees and grovels*

I PROMISE NOT TO TELL SABINA.

[petronia.livejournal.com]

*laffs*

...It all looks better in the morning. XD;;

[absenceofmind.livejournal.com]

sabina, i don't call blatant emotional manipulation for the sake of personal gain reassuring behavior -_- clearly you are more forgiving than i.

*still not happy with kagetora*

[insaneneko.livejournal.com]

*laugh* You want me to wade back into that mess? I've been able to wince from a distance, with time and many volumes after book 10 to allow me some measure of peace.

Yeah, Naoe needs a good kick in the stomach (or elsewhere), it takes two to have any kind of relationship, no matter how disfunctional.

The sad truth is, I don't remember details until jogged (like when reading sabina's posts) and I'd have to reread...so I again ask...do you want me to wade back into that mess? I'd have to reread...gah...

*runs for the hills*

[tammaiya.livejournal.com]

*criiiiiiiies*

I was all totally feeling sorry for Takaya that Naoe was such a bastard to him earlier and then he goes and does THIS. OMGWTF. Takayaaaaaaaaaa.

[fable.livejournal.com]

.....

These mob spoilers should come with a warning.

Though, of course, that won't stop me from reading them and then later regretting it.

I want to see Naoe stomp Kagetora under the heels of his Prada shoes. And that's never going to happen, is it, because he is, like, HOLDING UP SIGNS SAYING "I AM A CARPET WALK ALL OVER ME" WTFFF?

[pere-chan.livejournal.com]

You know, I was really envying you your ability to read Mirage...till now.