![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
petroniaMy grandfather passed away yesterday morning (the evening of the 21st, Shanghai time).
I find it difficult to talk about death except via inappropriate humour. As such, I am now confessing to the Internet at large that I don't know what the dress protocol is when a beloved relative dies on Chinese New Year. I mean, I can't wear red... but I can't wear black/white either. It's Chinese New Year. If any less-faily Chinese person who knows the answer reads this, please reply in the next 30 minutes as I really do have to leave the house to acquire food.
I find it difficult to talk about death except via inappropriate humour. As such, I am now confessing to the Internet at large that I don't know what the dress protocol is when a beloved relative dies on Chinese New Year. I mean, I can't wear red... but I can't wear black/white either. It's Chinese New Year. If any less-faily Chinese person who knows the answer reads this, please reply in the next 30 minutes as I really do have to leave the house to acquire food.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2012-01-22 09:04 pm (UTC)Also, humor is totally a valid response to death, and anyone who tells you otherwise is a pompous parasite who's more concerned about appearances than what the dead person would have actually wanted. The only way my cousins and I got through my grandmother's funeral last year without completely melting down was through inappropriate giggling at her request to be buried with the ashes of her (evil, blind, hate-filled) cat, who'd died more than a decade before.
no subject
Date: 2012-01-22 10:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-22 11:09 pm (UTC)i can't answer your question at all, though, as i am a much more faily chinese person than you or pretty much anyone i know.
no subject
Date: 2012-01-23 03:56 am (UTC)(I am sorry for your loss. It's hard. But as you can probably tell, inappropriate humor is my first reaction too...)
no subject
Date: 2012-01-23 10:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-23 03:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-22 07:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-22 07:25 pm (UTC)If it's any help, when someone dies close to New Year, the Japanese send out notices to friends saying they're not receiving New Year cards this year, thus effectively cancelling New Year for themselves.
no subject
Date: 2012-01-22 07:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-22 08:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-22 08:38 pm (UTC)Also sorry I spotted this late but: Blue is an accepted funeral colour for grandchildren of the deceased, so maybe something in navy would be appropriate? Hope that helps.
no subject
Date: 2012-01-22 09:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-22 09:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-22 10:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-22 10:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-22 10:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-22 11:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-23 12:29 am (UTC)I asked my family about your dilemma and we were all stumped! Hope you found something to wear.
no subject
Date: 2012-01-23 01:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-23 01:37 am (UTC)in one of my many attempts to grok confucianism i sat down with the book of rites and very quickly discovered that significant parts of it are thought experiments on a theme of "what is the protocol when a dear relative dies on [significant day]?" the content would move onto something different and then in the next lot of assorted questions it was as if some nagging thought had just occurred to the writer-- "but, wait! what is the protocol when the bride's father dies after she has left her natal house but before the marriage ceremony is finished?" (iirc, if she is on the road, she must turn around and go back home to mourn; but if the marriage ceremony is taking place then she must stay, as this is her house now)
no subject
Date: 2012-01-23 02:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-23 03:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-23 03:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-23 05:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-23 05:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-23 02:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-23 02:58 pm (UTC)Re: dress code - I thought black? Iirc, New Year - as well as other celebrations, for some amount of time - is basically cancelled. (Though uhhh by the time this comment has been posted, you've probably left your house. I hope you've resolved the issue, and that your family is fine.)
no subject
Date: 2012-01-23 04:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-23 11:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-24 12:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-24 01:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-24 03:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-24 11:20 am (UTC)My condolence for your loss.
no subject
Date: 2012-01-25 03:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-25 06:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-25 06:00 pm (UTC)