Utter spam

[petronia]

Mirage of Blaze fic that should shouldn't should absolutely shouldn't could exist, as long as I'm not the one saddled with writing them:

1. The Gravitation crossover

As I keep reminding people, Eiri and Tatsuha's real last name is Uesugi - sort of in the same sense that Takeda Yuiko is a Takeda, possibly. Also, their family lives in a temple. Also, series-related spoilers.

Anyhow you can cross Gravitation over with anything as long as you resign yourself to abandoning all semblance of serious endeavour and self-respect because it's a weirdness-tolerant series.

2. The Ozaki Minami backstory

Currently a chapter or so into book 9. Overwhelming impression that Kuwabara got up one morning, ate half a crate of Pocky and said to herself, "You know what would be cool to write? A story about Naoe working as a salariman at Glico. ...Okay, so it's not what the series is about, but what are they going to do, stop buying it? <3" ......I digress. If you take Naoe from his own POV you get the impression of a dude angsting in the metaphorical corner non-stop from age 6 to 26, but Okumura paints an image of high-school!Naoe that reminds me rather nigglingly of pre-psycho Nanjou Kouji. Probably kinder on a surface level, but with the same profound lack of attachment. Always looking a little through his surroundings, looking for something, someone... Of course what I really mean is that I can sort of picture a teenage Tachibana Yoshiaki with the slightly long hair and all, getting picked up at the school gates by a sexy older woman in a red sports car. Even if it turns out to be his sister in the family Ferrari (shades of Fuji Shuusuke OMG).

3. The Gravitation crossover part II J-rock RPS

My theory is that Naoe is actually Gackt. I mean, they're about the same age, give or take a century, and they use the same perfume. I think I've got a case.

4. The genderswitch

Albeit corialis has actually written this. When I had this conversation the conclusion was that if Kagetora had ended up in a female body for whatever perverse reason, Naoe would have lost it either much sooner or rather later (due to, I sincerely hope, the sharing of hotel rooms not being an issue. Not that that would stop it from looking like enjo kousai to the receptionist. But then it probably looks like enjo kousai to the receptionist in canon anyway).

Actually I think book 7 should go like this:

Ujiteru: So in conclusion, you can just sit there, watch that body die and contemplate how it's all your fault. Saburou's with the Hojo now, and we'll find him a properly strong and beautiful body to suit his soul.
Naoe: .....Can it have boobs? Like really perky ones?
Ujiteru: ..........
Kagetora (from nearest reflective surface): PEOPLE. I AM, LIKE, STILL HERE.

Comments

[ladyjaida.livejournal.com]

Hahaha this post made me look up the old MoB fic I started writing a month ago and could never finish. How sad it is, and ... much longer than I remember it being. Huh.

[petronia.livejournal.com]

.......

...Post? ;_;

[ladyjaida.livejournal.com]

Oh God, no, you know so much about this fandom! I know so little! I've only seen the series! I wish I knew more. It's probably horribly out of character and certainly doesn't adhere to anything canonical past the point where the anime cuts off. *meeeeeebles*

[luxetumbra.livejournal.com]

Look to the mail..........

And...

post?

XD

[ladyjaida.livejournal.com]

Ahaha! I just got it today, man! I am so excited about starting. But still! I know so little! I give you the opening bit, hidden here so that I can feel less shame. ._.


!


So Naoe leaves him with a jacket, as if he's some sort of a girl, and gets into his car and drives away. Like leaving him with a jacket suddenly solves all their problems, or shoving his sunglasses high up onto his nose can show nothing's really changed. The part of him that's still Takaya Ougi wants to turn around and scream after him You Fucking Bastard, but in light of everything that's just happened the usual vulgarity doesn't seem to cut it. So this is what apathy feels like, he thinks. So this is the sudden chill of what happens when you stop running, touched, faintly, by the smell of Naoe on Naoe's jacket. The sleeves of it flap in the wind. A few birds arc up from the lake. It's a sunset the color of oranges with a hot core of gold in the middle, exploding all over the sky. Even though it's scenic, he doesn't feel like he's just saved the world. Anyway, he's just going to have to do it again.

There's only so much introspective shit he can pull on himself at one time, here, on the wharf, with the sting of nightfall creeping cold over the water. He presses his cheek against the collar of Naoe's jacket, breathes in deep, and guesses he's walking home. The jacket is too big for him. Dragons knot themselves behind his eyes, reflections, fun-house mirrors. Everything moves disjointed through two sets of consciousness, two standards, two understandings. One of these days he's going to wake up and realize Takaya Ougi is Kagetora, or the other way around, or the two are interchangeable, or the two aren't interchangeable but both true, anyway. "Not today," he says. The consequences of figuring himself out is knowing who, exactly, Naoe loves. He can stand here all day and smell Naoe on Naoe's collar, cigarettes and car leather and good business investments and something ancient and something else crazy, and he can think a thousand thoughts that have nothing to do with one another all at once with two different heads, but when it comes down to it he still has that knot of dragons inside his belly, that fire-creature, that hungry, human ache he doesn't want to talk to. Ever.

"I'm not even out of highschool," he points out, to no one. Which means he's talking to himself, so it's time to call it a day.

[petronia.livejournal.com]

*looks around*

...

Give me the rest and I will continue to hide it? :D No, seriously, you cannot very well leave us with just two paragraphs and a bit.

[ladyjaida.livejournal.com]

Hahaha should I just keep spamming your comments with it? It's not even done. Though it is four more pages. *boggles*

More please. :D

[luxetumbra.livejournal.com]

"feel less shame" - you crack me up. XD

Second installment! oh dear. I don't even remember writing this :(

[ladyjaida.livejournal.com]

***

It only hits him after he lies down how many people he's killed. Strange, that it should come over him so slow, starting as a slight wrongness in his fingertips and creeping up until it reaches the center of him. Did I forget to brush my teeth? he wonders. Is this the sort of t-shirt I normally wear to bed? How many people have I killed in these lifetimes? He guesses, head underneath his pillow, eyes squeezed tight shut, that it should just feel natural to him now. Just as natural as brushing his teeth. Just as natural as sitting on the edge of his bed in his socks before he toes them off and flops backwards. Just as natural as getting up in the morning and feeling hungry. This isn't what he does; it's what he is. Countless incarnations make it impossible to deny that. Being trapped with only the essence of himself for days makes it impossible to deny that. Naoe makes it impossible to deny that -- Naoe makes it impossible. And yet, beyond his resentment, beyond something old and stubborn and without mercy, the boy in him wants Naoe nonetheless. There's a comfort still in the impermanence of a small hotel room, two beds, the slightest distance in between. He wants to explain what it meant to cast the spirits of his brothers away: some deep, permanent aching below his clavicle.

"Naoe," he says, and hits his bed with a fistful of linens. Perhaps this is karmic payback, a karmic eye for a karmic eye, or a tooth for a tooth, or blame for blame, or mercilessness for mercilessness. In the same way that he remembers his own suicide he remembers small things before that instant, or the way it felt not to be fucked.

"I'm not a fucking woman," he says later; but his actions suggest something stupidly feminine. What man slaps another man with the heat of his body up close, up tight? Takaya knows what to do in that sort of situation; kick the fucker in the balls. What man holds another man's jacket up to his cheek in the sunset and thinks I want to know you better and wonders Is it my right? Takaya recalls that no man who knows himself and what he wants and what he doesn't want would pull that sort of nostalgic shit; and besides, he can't start missing Naoe because that morning Naoe was going to lock them, forever, between two mirrors, beneath the lake.

***

Oh man

[petronia.livejournal.com]

D'you really need me to say that this does not suck do continue pls? ^^; *gnaws finger in anticipation*

HAHAHA I will only let you down because I never finish it.

[ladyjaida.livejournal.com]

He knows what to do: protect Yuzuru. There was a time before all this when Yuzuru was all he knew, a steady little burning in his belly that went soft in close proximity. It never made him feel weak, only more like himself, if that was possible, louder and more certain and more sharply defined. When he was Takaya Ougi, on his motorbike, and Yuzuru was Narita Yuzuru, not knowing how to hit people and certainly not the key to anything other than Takaya's misplaced but affectionate laughter, Takaya had no questions. None. It didn't feel like being anything less, or anything useless, or anything feminine. It didn't feel like someone bigger casting a shadow over him from behind, half-ready to touch him, half-ready to leave. It was a safe sort of hunger, like right before mealtimes. Maybe, in those times, he was the shadow. Maybe, Yuzuru used to look behind him with the same edgy disquiet that Takaya feels now, to find nothing but the trees and a sun who can't quite set the same way twice.

"My whole world," he thinks out loud, "sucks."

If it were just that Naoe loved him, then he doesn't think he'd jump at his own footsteps this way. If it were just that Naoe loved him, he thinks he would have let the man have him, suddenly and brutally, up against the wall, the way their bodies felt, without any internal complications. Instead there are years of emotions Takaya can't fully understand and Kagetora can't fully forgive, which leave a clutch of longing inside him so terrible it keeps him up at nights and puts him somewhere else during the day, so that Yuzuru watches him nervously and everyone thinks he's on the edge of acting out. I am violent, he wants to stand up in the middle of class and say. I am violent so now we can all stop being secret about it. He hates the furtive glances, those polite hands not-quite hiding idle, schoolgirl gossip. Fuck you, he wants to tell everyone, I'm some fucked up exorcist from the feudal underworld who has to save your asses, so start acting grateful.

But that's not it, not really. Naoe doesn't just love him. Naoe's obsessed with him; not the sort of black and white obsession that comes pre-packaged in movies, either fawned off as misguided adoration or the psycho-killer's last admission before he pulls out the butcher knife. It's an obsession that through time has morphed into some great beast of an emotion, something dark and terrible and lunatic. I love you, Naoe said, and gave Takaya his jacket. But want and need are separate. Naoe's need over four hundred years has sickened, is desperate. Some of it is still human, still capable of softening. He's seen it, once, fleeting, a realization, guilt and grief and fear, the hard terrible nouns of humanity surging in Naoe's eyes. That was before he understood their pasts, so inextricably tangled, the two monsters who haunt his dreams.

***

Re: HAHAHA I will only let you down because I never finish it.

[insaneneko.livejournal.com]

I like what you have down though. The attitude manages to hold its own against the angst in your story, which doesn't always happen in the novels.

Re: HAHAHA I will only let you down because I never finish it.

[ayatsujik.livejournal.com]

To laidyjaida:
...I am so random person who is so utterly fangirling your lovely Takaya introspection it hurts. OH LORD SAY YOU'LL WRITE MORE.

To Sabina:
....I watched the anime. With Squid. We liked it. She's angsting a lot more than I am over 400 fscking years of obessessed angsty shite how are they ever going to have a viable relationship?; me, am researching Sengoku Jidai and wanting to get my hands on the novels zomg, so your fault.

[mirichan.livejournal.com]

*cracks up*...

Love the last line ^__^

[insaneneko.livejournal.com]

I love your version of book 7. Especially since in certain moods I'm sure canon Naoe thinks such thoughts.

Though I am leaning toward the Minami Ozaki crossover/AU idea...Naoe has so much built up angst seething beneath that he'd make a fabulous dissolute youth or even a rock star...

[corialis.livejournal.com]

To add to the list, there definitely needs to be should never be a Mirage/Yami no Matsuei crossover. Because they all deal with dead people who refuse to be dead properly! And also, Naoe is clearly the secret lovechild of Tatsumi and Muraki, only with better vision.

[tammaiya.livejournal.com]

Well, *I* was about to say there has to be should never be a MoB/X crossover, but you've got that market covered anyway. *g*

[petronia.livejournal.com]

Sure, done! There are no locked fics, though - they're pretty much all either in memories or tagged as "fic" or on my site. ^^