Oyez! Oyez! Random! Ficcery!
Mar. 1st, 2003 01:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
petroniaI can't get @#$% used to bishy!Hikaru. >_< Can't. I mean, it was obvious the moment little Akira showed up in his knickerbockers and flower-girl bob that he was going to grow up Ryousuke-kei (color-coordination-impaired preppydom and all), but by rights Hikaru should've been spared the pretty. He was so... frogs and snails and puppy dog tails, y'know. The last crop of chapters visually-speaking have been like reading a shounen manga that came to school in its dead girlfriend's sailor fuku.
...I just had to get that off my chest. The rest of this post has nothing to do with Hikaru no Go. ^_^; I've been going through my writings folders, and was floored by the amount of fragmentary schtuff I've accumulated, some of which I swear I don't remember writing. I've decided I'm going to start posting the bits, because let's be frank here: what are my chances of finishing even a small proportion thereof? Ha. At least this way y'all could hopefully tell me which ones are readable, and which ones are crap. I don't really seem to have improved over the past four years, depressingly; it's sometimes good and sometimes bad, and who's to tell but me when no one else is reading.
“Well, shit, Heero, what’d you divorce her for, then?” Duo threw himself into one of the hotel-issue armchairs. “Shit!”
He wasn’t expecting much of an answer, so it floored him when Heero said, “I didn’t.”
Duo stared.
“She divorced me.” Heero turned away from the window, expression closed. “Want to hear how it happened?”
Duo’s mouth worked, but there was a bit of a lag before his voice caught up. “Are you going to tell me?”
“It was after a diplomatic function,” said Heero. He took a step toward Duo’s armchair, and the sudden coiled grace in his movement was a warning sign that went unheeded. “For six months we’d only seen each other at diplomatic functions, so it was just as well that there were many of them on the schedule. Vienna, Macao, Algiers. She liked me to wear medals... elegant clothes... would have the maid lay them out on my bed. My bed.” The blue-eyed young man smiled briefly. “She taught me how to walk with her on my arm. We were always a team in public – the war hero and the pacifist leader – so it was easy to be strong for her. I thought that was what she expected of me. I thought – that was what I had to do.”
Duo was quiet, his heart clenching.
“There was a disturbance that night. Not political, just a maniac with a fixation on the new government. The kind of incident that’s impossible to prevent entirely. I handled it.” Heero took another step toward him. “And then I went into the sitting room where I’d had Relena retire, and found she’d dismissed the guards I’d placed with her. She’d been crying. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen Relena cry. And then she told me it was over.”
Something about the way Heero was advancing on him made Duo unwilling to remain a sitting target. He got to his feet. “So you’re telling me that if Relena hadn’t left you, you would have stayed happily married to her?”
“Partially correct.” Another step, another – and Duo was far too caught up in his attempt at comprehension to notice that he was backing away unconsciously. “I would have stayed married to her. It would have been inadvisable. Do you know what she said to me that night?”
Deep steadying breath. “I can’t begin to guess.”
“She said that she was young when she married me, in ways other than political, and that she didn’t know how to love me then. She said—” Heero paused— “She said she knew, now, and that she loved me. That I owed her nothing. That there was no price to be put on my life that she’d saved, or hers that I’d spared... She said that if she wasn’t strong enough, in some way, for some reason, it was her problem. She had no right to make me think it was my duty to be a prop or an ornament, and duty wasn’t enough in any case. Imagine that, Duo: duty isn’t enough...”
Heero’s laugh was soft, and thoughtful. The next moment his gaze was fixed on Duo’s face again. “She said marriage wasn’t a mission. And that if she had to divorce me to make me realize it, she would.”
They were close; if Duo reached out he could just about touch Heero’s face with his fingertips. He stuck his hands into his pockets viciously. “So then you signed some papers and went off on your little journey of self-discovery around the planet.”
“In a manner of speaking, yes.”
Duo nodded. “All right. All right, I get it. So you were out, you were about, you heard the little people talking, you returned to the bosom of society. You got a life. And now that you understand enough of what it’s all about, things might work out if she lets you back into hers. This is your big chance at the second chance. Did I nail it?”
Heero was silent.
“Ha. Well, guy, I think congratulations are in order. After all, I know what your success rate is when you really set your mind to a—” Duo rubbed at his temples. “Oh, no m-word. Right. Sorry about that. I’m just not my usual quick-witted self tonight—”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Oh, you didn’t.” Duo had to force the aggression into his voice, because he was mortally afraid it would break otherwise. “Okay then, Heero, why don’t you explain to me what you did say. I’m a little tired for this level of mindfuck.”
“I didn’t say anything at all about my plans.” Heero paused. “You interrupted me before I got there.”
He reached out and shoved Duo with all the force of premeditated ambush. Duo pinwheeled, thrown off-balance by surprise, and stumbled against the wall.
“Heero, the hell—”
Heero caught him by the shoulders, pushed him back against the wallpaper and kissed him.
Heero hadn’t been a particularly good kisser, not at fifteen. What he did was approach the act with the same aim-to-shoot-and-shoot-to-kill tactics as mobile suit warfare, which made up effectively for lack of skill. Duo remembered it, which was not the same as re-experiencing it. By the time Heero pulled away he was glad to be pinned to the wall, because it took pressure off his knees not to crumple.
Heero had also worked on the skill aspect over the intervening years, he noted fuzzily.
“Heero? You aren’t mad at me or—”
Heero wedged a knee between his legs and kissed him again, only releasing his lips when oxygen began to make itself scarce. Duo took the hint and kept quiet. It was actually hard to do otherwise; Heero was pressed up against him thigh-to-thigh and torso-to-torso, nuzzling Duo’s collar away from the side of his throat. Duo felt sudden heated wetness there, and shivered.
“Ah—”
Heero pulled away at Duo’s soft exhalation, but not far. “She needed me,” he said, and his breath was both hot and cooling on Duo’s skin where he had pressed his mouth. “She needed me, and you—” More kisses, flickers of tongue to taste, a charge to a live conduit—“I thought I finally understood you, when peace came. When I saw that it was all you were missing to be happy.”
...I just had to get that off my chest. The rest of this post has nothing to do with Hikaru no Go. ^_^; I've been going through my writings folders, and was floored by the amount of fragmentary schtuff I've accumulated, some of which I swear I don't remember writing. I've decided I'm going to start posting the bits, because let's be frank here: what are my chances of finishing even a small proportion thereof? Ha. At least this way y'all could hopefully tell me which ones are readable, and which ones are crap. I don't really seem to have improved over the past four years, depressingly; it's sometimes good and sometimes bad, and who's to tell but me when no one else is reading.
“Well, shit, Heero, what’d you divorce her for, then?” Duo threw himself into one of the hotel-issue armchairs. “Shit!”
He wasn’t expecting much of an answer, so it floored him when Heero said, “I didn’t.”
Duo stared.
“She divorced me.” Heero turned away from the window, expression closed. “Want to hear how it happened?”
Duo’s mouth worked, but there was a bit of a lag before his voice caught up. “Are you going to tell me?”
“It was after a diplomatic function,” said Heero. He took a step toward Duo’s armchair, and the sudden coiled grace in his movement was a warning sign that went unheeded. “For six months we’d only seen each other at diplomatic functions, so it was just as well that there were many of them on the schedule. Vienna, Macao, Algiers. She liked me to wear medals... elegant clothes... would have the maid lay them out on my bed. My bed.” The blue-eyed young man smiled briefly. “She taught me how to walk with her on my arm. We were always a team in public – the war hero and the pacifist leader – so it was easy to be strong for her. I thought that was what she expected of me. I thought – that was what I had to do.”
Duo was quiet, his heart clenching.
“There was a disturbance that night. Not political, just a maniac with a fixation on the new government. The kind of incident that’s impossible to prevent entirely. I handled it.” Heero took another step toward him. “And then I went into the sitting room where I’d had Relena retire, and found she’d dismissed the guards I’d placed with her. She’d been crying. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen Relena cry. And then she told me it was over.”
Something about the way Heero was advancing on him made Duo unwilling to remain a sitting target. He got to his feet. “So you’re telling me that if Relena hadn’t left you, you would have stayed happily married to her?”
“Partially correct.” Another step, another – and Duo was far too caught up in his attempt at comprehension to notice that he was backing away unconsciously. “I would have stayed married to her. It would have been inadvisable. Do you know what she said to me that night?”
Deep steadying breath. “I can’t begin to guess.”
“She said that she was young when she married me, in ways other than political, and that she didn’t know how to love me then. She said—” Heero paused— “She said she knew, now, and that she loved me. That I owed her nothing. That there was no price to be put on my life that she’d saved, or hers that I’d spared... She said that if she wasn’t strong enough, in some way, for some reason, it was her problem. She had no right to make me think it was my duty to be a prop or an ornament, and duty wasn’t enough in any case. Imagine that, Duo: duty isn’t enough...”
Heero’s laugh was soft, and thoughtful. The next moment his gaze was fixed on Duo’s face again. “She said marriage wasn’t a mission. And that if she had to divorce me to make me realize it, she would.”
They were close; if Duo reached out he could just about touch Heero’s face with his fingertips. He stuck his hands into his pockets viciously. “So then you signed some papers and went off on your little journey of self-discovery around the planet.”
“In a manner of speaking, yes.”
Duo nodded. “All right. All right, I get it. So you were out, you were about, you heard the little people talking, you returned to the bosom of society. You got a life. And now that you understand enough of what it’s all about, things might work out if she lets you back into hers. This is your big chance at the second chance. Did I nail it?”
Heero was silent.
“Ha. Well, guy, I think congratulations are in order. After all, I know what your success rate is when you really set your mind to a—” Duo rubbed at his temples. “Oh, no m-word. Right. Sorry about that. I’m just not my usual quick-witted self tonight—”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Oh, you didn’t.” Duo had to force the aggression into his voice, because he was mortally afraid it would break otherwise. “Okay then, Heero, why don’t you explain to me what you did say. I’m a little tired for this level of mindfuck.”
“I didn’t say anything at all about my plans.” Heero paused. “You interrupted me before I got there.”
He reached out and shoved Duo with all the force of premeditated ambush. Duo pinwheeled, thrown off-balance by surprise, and stumbled against the wall.
“Heero, the hell—”
Heero caught him by the shoulders, pushed him back against the wallpaper and kissed him.
Heero hadn’t been a particularly good kisser, not at fifteen. What he did was approach the act with the same aim-to-shoot-and-shoot-to-kill tactics as mobile suit warfare, which made up effectively for lack of skill. Duo remembered it, which was not the same as re-experiencing it. By the time Heero pulled away he was glad to be pinned to the wall, because it took pressure off his knees not to crumple.
Heero had also worked on the skill aspect over the intervening years, he noted fuzzily.
“Heero? You aren’t mad at me or—”
Heero wedged a knee between his legs and kissed him again, only releasing his lips when oxygen began to make itself scarce. Duo took the hint and kept quiet. It was actually hard to do otherwise; Heero was pressed up against him thigh-to-thigh and torso-to-torso, nuzzling Duo’s collar away from the side of his throat. Duo felt sudden heated wetness there, and shivered.
“Ah—”
Heero pulled away at Duo’s soft exhalation, but not far. “She needed me,” he said, and his breath was both hot and cooling on Duo’s skin where he had pressed his mouth. “She needed me, and you—” More kisses, flickers of tongue to taste, a charge to a live conduit—“I thought I finally understood you, when peace came. When I saw that it was all you were missing to be happy.”
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no subject
Date: 2003-03-01 03:37 am (UTC)Errr...I found your LJ while clicking on random friends of friends, and added you to my list...anyway, I did enjoy this snippet! Unfortunately, I feel like I've been stuck up a tree with it, as it simply begs for a continuation. ^___^
However, I manage to live with it as it stands, and fill in the gaps with my imagination. Thanks for sharing!
no subject
Date: 2003-03-01 06:31 am (UTC)You *were* planning on finishing "Demi", weren't you? Weren't you?
Ahem. Loved this. Would be willing to bribe you. Name your price.
no subject
Date: 2003-03-01 07:57 am (UTC)Will have to consider.
Re:
Date: 2003-03-01 07:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-03-01 07:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-03-01 08:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-03-03 10:42 am (UTC)Ha! Now who's doing the stalking?
And could I read that 13x5 thing again?
no subject
Date: 2003-03-03 10:53 am (UTC)...Well, expanded. More like fuxx0red meta version, actually.
no subject
Date: 2005-09-12 06:10 am (UTC)I hope you are still planning on writing more of this? Please? pretty please? With sugar on top?
:)